Showing posts with label equality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label equality. Show all posts

Monday, October 28, 2019

How to Be a Writer - Part II (Your Writing Space)

Last time, in part one of our multi-part series, I talked about the basic tools that you need to be a writer. This time, I'm going to talk about where you write. Keep in mind, there is no right answer for this. There is what works for you. I'm going to be talking about what works for me, sharing a few glimpses into my writer's lifestyle, and what works for a few of my contemporaries (with their names redacted so you won't think I'm name-dropping anyone).

So what do you look for in a writing space? Well, if you're like me, you look for a few things. Darkness, few windows (I'm easily distracted), and a frickin' door, to start with. For me, a writing space becomes holy ground. When I'm in that space, I am not to be disturbed, and everyone in my life, in theory, knows that. It's not as pretentious as it sounds, really. The thing is, I have to be in a certain mindset when I write. When I hit that point, I can type for hours on end without a single break and not even realize the time has passed. But the thing is, it takes me a while to get there, and only an instant to pull me out of it. So, before we look at some different type of writing spaces, let's talk about the whole "sacred space" thing.

A Sacred Space is a place in the home that is used to unplug from everything else in your life so you can focus on one thing and one thing only (whatever that is). In most cases, when people talk about sacred spaces, they're talking about focusing on their spirituality, loving the world, or some other aspect of spiritual growth. Now take that concept and apply it to your writing room. Your writing room/space/garage/nook/ironing board should be that sort of place for you: A place where you can tune out the rest of the world and focus on what truly matters. In this case, it's your writing (and let's be honest here... Writing is a form of spirituality. And therapy.). It should be filled with things that help your writing, not distract you from it. Let me explain.

My writing room is an ode to chaos. Contained therein, you will find dozens of occult curios, reference books, novels, books by friends and former students. You'll find Captain America's shield hanging on the wall and my pug's bed in the corner. You will find my guitar behind my desk and paintings by my wife around my desk. In short, the room is me. It's everything that I need to feel comfort. It's everything that I need so I won't worry, look around, and find excuses not to write. One thing you will not find: Bills on my keyboard. See, nothing goes into my writing space that causes me anxiety because, well, that's not how I work. When I write, I write in silence with only ambient noise from the house around me.

But that's not how everyone works. One author I know finds his creative juices in a booth an the local Starbucks, surrounded by people and with noise all around. That's his sacred space. That's the space he goes to when it's time to go to work. Ernest Hemmingway wrote standing up with his typewriter on his dresser. That was his sacred space.  Some people write with music. Some write in silence. I know at least one writer whose typewriter used to sit on an ironing board in a very small cubby.

The point I'm trying to make is this: Find yourself a space that, when you are there, it's time to work. Why? Because you are training your brain to get into its creative state. It's a trigger. Think of it like a Pavlovian response. We ring the bell, you drool. You sit in your writing chair, you start thinking like a writer. Then comes the tricky part: EVERYONE ELSE.

I got lucky. I married an artist who understands that, when I'm working, I need to be left alone. She needs the same thing when she works. When we bought our house, we each created a space that was uniquely ours. I have my writing room downstairs, she has her art studio upstairs. And we both know when the other is in their sacred space, we leave them the hell alone.  And, yes, I'm aware that this makes us sound unbearable to live with, but that's what it is to live with creative people. We complement each other, and we deal with it.

But most folks aren't that lucky. The key to dealing with this? Ground rules. Communication. You can't just assume your partner(s) will understand what's going on in this room if you don't tell them. So you need to very carefully and explicitly set some ground rules for how you would like the world to operate if you're in your writing space. And then be expected to make compromises. For example: "I'd like to not be disturbed if I'm in this place, because I'm working on a novel." "Okay, but if we haven't seen you in eight hours, I'm breaking the door down." "Fair." Remember, a temperamental creative type you may be, but you're not allowed to be 100% asshole. Your partner's feelings are just as valid as yours, so you need to respect them. But you also need time to do what you need to do. Communication is the only way to solve this problem.

The point I'm trying to make is this: Find your space. Whether it's in a coffee shop, an office, your back porch, or even in your kitchen, find what works for you. Find the place that, when you sit there, your brain knows it's time to go into a creative cycle. And if you're one of those people who can work anywhere and anytime, more power to you. I wish I could, but I can't. And that's okay too.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, here are some photos of my indoor and outdoor writing rooms.  Yes, I write on my back porch some times.



Next time, we're going to talk about one of the most important, and often ignored, aspects of actually being a writer in part three of our three-part series.

Until next time, write on!

SAJ

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Ranty McRantypants: On Marriage Equality

Normally, this blog is dedicated to writing tips, advice, and other aspects of the artistic profession that I so love.  But today, I feel the need to talk about something else.  And, since it's my blog, I can do that.  If you find yourself offended by what I'm about to say, please take this opportunity to bugger off and find something else to do.  We'll be back to writing advice soon enough, but do please keep your opinions to yourself.

Thppppt!
Over the past few years, I've seen a lot of ink and airwaves about "gay marriage."  I prefer to call it "marriage equality," but that's not the subject here.  I've seen people on both sides of the fence, and I've heard all kinds of arguments, and I think it's time for me to come right out and take a stand on which side I fall.  So here's the short version:

Everyone has the right to be happy, to be loved, and to declare a life-long bond with whomever they want. Everyone.  "But what about..?"  See the first word.  It's important.  "Everyone."  Live it, love it, deal with it.
Because I said so. That's why.
Look, I've seen so many right-wing Christian fundamentalists scream and bitch about the "sanctity of marriage" and the the "abomination" of what gay sex means, and every time another one opens his or her mouth, my eyes roll so hard that I'm afraid they're going to roll out and wind up in my shirt pocket.  First off, it seriously cracks me up when people who have been divorced, people who are in abusive marriages, or people who got married because one of them was pregnant gives anyone else lip about the "sanctity" of marriage.  Newsflash, people:  You have no room to talk.  And, while marriage can be a religious thing, it doesn't have to be.  Which means that your supposedly religiously-mandated homophobia doesn't apply.  "But God says..." Nope.  Sorry.  The first amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America (remember that little holy document? The one that allows you to be an asshole?) provides for the separation of church and state.  Which means that the moment you say "the bible says" or "against the will of God," guess what... 
Don't let the door hit you where the dog should've bit you.
But why is that?  Why would we want the country to be run by people who actually make laws based on logic or on, Gods forbid, what's  best for everyone instead of based on what your God wants?  Picture this...What if someone got into power who believed in something other than your God?  Let's say, just for the sake of argument, Tom Cruise decided to run for president.
Mr. President... 
Suddenly, all laws are based on the beliefs taught by the Church of Scientology.  Your beliefs as a Christian?  Thpppt.  That's wrong now.  Sorry.  All praise Xenu.  "But that couldn't possibly happen!" you say.  "Because Christianity is the right religion!"  Weird.  That's what pretty much every other religion believes.  And they're just as convinced as you are.  Believe it or not, your beliefs don't really make a big difference to the rest of the world.  They're content to let you believe whatever you want as long as you don't try to force those beliefs on other people.  Which, by the way, you're doing.  Pretty sure you wouldn't like it if the same thing were being done to you.   Moving on.

I read an article today that stated that the "militant" homosexuals are targeting the Christians.  
Yeah... These guys...
Look... I grew up in a small town on the Texas coast.  It was so inundated with Christian fundamentalism that the largest arguments around town was who was more Christian than whom.  And the one thing I saw targeted more than anyone else?  Gays.  I grew up around slurs of "faggot," "fairy," "homo," "queer," and every other slur you can imagine.  I've seen gay men (and boys) get beaten nearly to death for loving someone.  I've had gay friends commit suicide rather than face the hatred they got for being something they couldn't help.  I've seen families ripped apart because people were too afraid to be who they were.  Here's another news flash:  The homosexuals aren't targeting Christians.  They're not "targeting" anyone.  They're not harassing anyone.  They just want to be considered equals to everyone else.  And they should be.  That the homophobic hatred is being called out for what it is, many find threatening.  But really, it's just exposing it for what it is:  Hate.  Plain and simple.
This is you.  Seriously.  This is you.
Really, look at the central message of Christianity (or most other religions, for that matter).  Boil down all the messages and lessons and everything else and you come up with a pretty easy message to get:  Don't be an asshole. And that's what you're doing.  So, if you're really trying to follow the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, cut the shit and quit preaching inequality and hatred.
...
So there's this woman right now who is refusing to do her job, which is to hand out marriage licenses, because she is religiously opposed to same-sex marriage.  The Supreme Court (you might've heard of 'em) have ordered her to do the job for which she is paid.  Let me repeat that:  HER JOB IS TO HAND OUT LICENSES.  I wonder, does she also refused to hand out licenses to people on their second or third marriages?  How about mixed-race couples?  How about couples in which the woman is not a virgin (look it up... It's a "sacred" requirement)?  Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you or I refused to do our jobs.  What would happen to us?  We'd be fired, right?  What if our religion prevented us from doing the job for which we were specifically hired?  Fired.  Done.  Do your damned job or we need to find someone who will.  The thing that gets me is that she's being held up like some sort of martyr over her "heroic" stand for God's rules.  In a government job.  Re-read the whole "separation of church and state" thing.  Yeah.  She's not a martyr...She's a hate-monger.  What else should we do, lady?  Have "gays only" drinking fountains?  Make 'em sit on the back of the bus?  Have special "gays only" entrances to movie theaters?
*facepalm*
Let's be perfectly honest here.  If you are trying to deny someone the right to marry or love because they are gay, it isn't because of your religion.  It's you.  You just don't want them to.  For whatever reason, you just want to discriminate.  And guess what.  That makes you a bigot.  That makes you a bad person.  That makes you everything that your religion, in theory, stands against.  And, if you truly believe in God, then you have to know that he's staring down at you with sadness in his giant metaphysical heart and disappointment on his face.  Congratulations.
Hope you're happy.
I'm getting married in March, to a wonderful woman.  It's one of the most amazing things I could've ever hoped for, and I can't fathom denying anyone else that kind of joy.  Love is rare.  True love, even more so.  We don't choose who we love.  We don't choose who we're attracted to.  If all the scandals of the past have taught us anything, it's what happens when bigoted assholes deny people the right to be themselves.  Gay, bi, pan, trans, straight... It doesn't matter.  Everyone deserves happiness.  EVERYONE.  Say it with me.  EVERYONE DESERVES HAPPINESS.  Love is not wrong.  Remember the whole "God is love" movement?  Love is not wrong.  Love is good.