How to Be a Writer - Part II (Your Writing Space)

Last time, in part one of our multi-part series, I talked about the basic tools that you need to be a writer. This time, I'm going to talk about where you write. Keep in mind, there is no right answer for this. There is what works for you. I'm going to be talking about what works for me, sharing a few glimpses into my writer's lifestyle, and what works for a few of my contemporaries (with their names redacted so you won't think I'm name-dropping anyone).

So what do you look for in a writing space? Well, if you're like me, you look for a few things. Darkness, few windows (I'm easily distracted), and a frickin' door, to start with. For me, a writing space becomes holy ground. When I'm in that space, I am not to be disturbed, and everyone in my life, in theory, knows that. It's not as pretentious as it sounds, really. The thing is, I have to be in a certain mindset when I write. When I hit that point, I can type for hours on end without a single break and not even realize the time has passed. But the thing is, it takes me a while to get there, and only an instant to pull me out of it. So, before we look at some different type of writing spaces, let's talk about the whole "sacred space" thing.

A Sacred Space is a place in the home that is used to unplug from everything else in your life so you can focus on one thing and one thing only (whatever that is). In most cases, when people talk about sacred spaces, they're talking about focusing on their spirituality, loving the world, or some other aspect of spiritual growth. Now take that concept and apply it to your writing room. Your writing room/space/garage/nook/ironing board should be that sort of place for you: A place where you can tune out the rest of the world and focus on what truly matters. In this case, it's your writing (and let's be honest here... Writing is a form of spirituality. And therapy.). It should be filled with things that help your writing, not distract you from it. Let me explain.

My writing room is an ode to chaos. Contained therein, you will find dozens of occult curios, reference books, novels, books by friends and former students. You'll find Captain America's shield hanging on the wall and my pug's bed in the corner. You will find my guitar behind my desk and paintings by my wife around my desk. In short, the room is me. It's everything that I need to feel comfort. It's everything that I need so I won't worry, look around, and find excuses not to write. One thing you will not find: Bills on my keyboard. See, nothing goes into my writing space that causes me anxiety because, well, that's not how I work. When I write, I write in silence with only ambient noise from the house around me.

But that's not how everyone works. One author I know finds his creative juices in a booth an the local Starbucks, surrounded by people and with noise all around. That's his sacred space. That's the space he goes to when it's time to go to work. Ernest Hemmingway wrote standing up with his typewriter on his dresser. That was his sacred space.  Some people write with music. Some write in silence. I know at least one writer whose typewriter used to sit on an ironing board in a very small cubby.

The point I'm trying to make is this: Find yourself a space that, when you are there, it's time to work. Why? Because you are training your brain to get into its creative state. It's a trigger. Think of it like a Pavlovian response. We ring the bell, you drool. You sit in your writing chair, you start thinking like a writer. Then comes the tricky part: EVERYONE ELSE.

I got lucky. I married an artist who understands that, when I'm working, I need to be left alone. She needs the same thing when she works. When we bought our house, we each created a space that was uniquely ours. I have my writing room downstairs, she has her art studio upstairs. And we both know when the other is in their sacred space, we leave them the hell alone.  And, yes, I'm aware that this makes us sound unbearable to live with, but that's what it is to live with creative people. We complement each other, and we deal with it.

But most folks aren't that lucky. The key to dealing with this? Ground rules. Communication. You can't just assume your partner(s) will understand what's going on in this room if you don't tell them. So you need to very carefully and explicitly set some ground rules for how you would like the world to operate if you're in your writing space. And then be expected to make compromises. For example: "I'd like to not be disturbed if I'm in this place, because I'm working on a novel." "Okay, but if we haven't seen you in eight hours, I'm breaking the door down." "Fair." Remember, a temperamental creative type you may be, but you're not allowed to be 100% asshole. Your partner's feelings are just as valid as yours, so you need to respect them. But you also need time to do what you need to do. Communication is the only way to solve this problem.

The point I'm trying to make is this: Find your space. Whether it's in a coffee shop, an office, your back porch, or even in your kitchen, find what works for you. Find the place that, when you sit there, your brain knows it's time to go into a creative cycle. And if you're one of those people who can work anywhere and anytime, more power to you. I wish I could, but I can't. And that's okay too.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, here are some photos of my indoor and outdoor writing rooms.  Yes, I write on my back porch some times.

Next time, we're going to talk about one of the most important, and often ignored, aspects of actually being a writer in part three of our three-part series.

Until next time, write on!

SAJ

Branching Out

There are times in our lives when we all do things, whether on purpose or not, that limit us. "I only eat" this or "I only wear" that brand, that type of thing. When we label ourselves, we limit ourselves. And, in doing so, we don't grow as human beings, or as artists. Imagine, if you can, being handed the variety pack of breakfast cereals and being told that, whichever one you choose, it's the only one you can have for the rest of your life. Bummer.

This past weekend at StokerCon (in Long Beach California), I met with my agent who did what she is supposed to do... She told me a harsh truth. The markets for horror are flooded. My work, she says, is good, but people just aren't buying it at this time. Horror's not dead, but it is in a state of overexposure. There are seasoned pros out there who haven't sold a book in a long time (me being one of those) because, well, people just aren't buying. I didn't want to admit it, but it's true.  And so the time has come.

See, for the longest time, a horror writer was all I was and all I wanted to be. I've only been good at a few things, and scaring the shit out of people is one of them, so I embraced it and ran with it. Hell, my website URL was AmericanHorrorWriter (both .com and .net because reasons). But back in the day, I had an inkling this might happen. So I registered a new domain name:  http://www.creepylittlebastard.com. It still sounds like horror, but there's now wiggle room as to what I actually write. Which brings me to the point of this blog:  What do I write?

Horror is still my first love, and I'm never stepping away from it. That's a fact. I will write horror until the day I'm dead, and probably even after that because that would be really creepy and awesome. But now, I'm branching out into four categories. The first two should surprise no one: Science Fiction and Dark Urban Fantasy.  The Stanley Cooper Chronicles, as you may know, is not straight horror. I've always billed it as "Dark Urban Noir Fantasy," so that's no real big stretch. Science Fiction has long time been a love of mine ever since I picked up the works of Phillip K Dick and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when I was a kid. So those really aren't the ones that are scaring the hell out of me right now.

See, I'm of the belief that we should always do things that frighten us. We grow that we, gain new skills and confidence, and we experience new and amazing things. So I'm doing just that. I'm going to be writing a novel in a genre that scares the ever-loving hell out of me under a pen-name.

YA.

You read that correctly. Young Adult. I will be writing a YA-horror-dark-urban-fantasy very soon under the name William Strange. Go ahead. Get your giggles out now, but I'm going to do it.

"But wait," I hear you saying. "You said four genres. That's only three. What's the fourth?"

You really want to know? Okay.

Poetry. I'm coming for you, Wytovich.

I'll keep you informed of the latest.

Until next time...

SAJ

A Few Words on Agents

Writers depend on a lot of people to do their jobs. Sure, the actual writing part of it may be a largely solitary endeavor, but once the first draft is done, we need help. We need our beta readers, critique partners, editors, significant-others, and a host of others to help us achieve our collective dreams of getting on the NYT Bestseller List, and eventually conquering the world. And one of the most important people to that process can be your agent.

It's said a good agent can make an author's career while a bad one can surely break it. Sage advice. So here's me, you're good-old-uncle Scott, to let you know what an agent actually does, and how to tell the good ones from the bad ones.

What an Agent Does
A common misconception is that agents are the keys to success, and that once you've landed one, you're on your way to international fame (and world domination). Not true. The real key to success is still your own manuscript, hard work, honing your craft, etc. And once you've landed an agent, the publishers are not going to come knocking on your door waving suitcases full of cash and offers of possibly unethical and immoral favors. Sorry to destroy the fantasy, but that's just not how it happens.

What an agent actually does, however, is an insane amount of work that you will probably never see. Their job is to sell your manuscript, sure. But it goes beyond that because an agent does things that you, the writer, can't do. First thing's first: The agent takes your manuscript, evaluates it, then gives you notes on how to make it more marketable. For some, that's line-editing. For others, it's a "keep-or-crap" mentality. It's their job to know what's trending, what sells, and who buys the most of it.

Once the manuscript is ship-shape (or shit-shape, depending...) they start the arduous process of submission. Y'know how many publishers put a clause in their submission guidelines that say "3-6 months reply time" or something of the like? Yeah... Agents aren't immune to that. Editors get gobs of manuscripts every day, and it takes time to weed through them all. And, if you send your manuscript in, you have to sit patiently and wait for the rejection letter to come in the mail before you send it out again. But the agent can do a little thing that you can't do: NAG. My agent is the queen of the nags. If she thinks an editor has had a manuscript for too long, she has no qualms about sending out the nagging e-mail. Just a gentle "hey, did you read it yet?" or something of the like.  Now, if you or I try that, our manuscript will never get read. But the agent? Yeah... it's in her job description, and the good ones?  They are damned good at it.

Pictured: Agent to Editor

Not only that, but they can get your manuscript in front of editors that you can't. Take a look at many of the biggest publishing houses' submission guidelines and you'll see the phrase "agented submissions only." Why? Because everyone thinks they can be a writer. Everyone thinks their story is the one that will change the world. and, frankly, everyone is wrong. It takes skill, education, and determination to be a writer, and not a small amount of blind stupid luck. The agent acts as a gate-keeper to these publishers. "I've read this work," says the agent. "And I certify that the person who wrote it isn't crazy, untalented, or illiterate." The editors take the agent at her word.

Acceptance isn't the end of the agent's job either, hoo no. The agent's job is to act on the behalf of the author. Negotiation is key here. What do you think a writer gets when his book gets sold? An advance, right, along with a percentage of the book sales? Sure.  But there's more.  The agent is there to negotiate how much of an advance the writer gets, as well as how much of a percentage he gets. See, the advance is a lump-sum payout based on how many books the publisher thinks the writer can sell.  It's an advance against royalties. But that's not all. How many copies of the book in question does the writer get to distribute as he sees fit? Bet you didn't think of that one. See, when we go to conventions, signings, car-washes... We need to be able to give away or sell copies of our book to build our audience. The agent negotiates that number. In fact, the agent negotiates every aspect of the contract. Why? Well, it's in the agent's best interest. See the agent doesn't get paid until you do.

You read that right. Agents live off commission. They take a standard 10-15% of whatever you get. So, for the sake of argument, the agent negotiates an up-front advance of $10,000. Of that, they get up to 15% ($1,500), which leaves you with $8,500.  "But wait!" you shout. "That's my money!" Yes, and if it weren't for the hard work of the agent, you wouldn't be getting a thin dime of it, would you? No. So sit down and shut up. They earn it. But now you can see why they work so hard to negotiate. 10-15% isn't a whole lot of money, so they make sure to get you the best deal they can so they can get the best deal they can.  Get it?

Good Vs. Bad
So how can you tell the difference between a good agent and a bad agent? Glad you asked. There are lots of ways to tell if an agent is legit or not.

• Client List - Any agent will be able to tell you who they represent, and will be able to show you a list of sales for the last year. 
• Agency - Are they part of an agency, or do they lone-wolf it? Either way, you can find out about them or their agency. 
• Google - Google is your friend. If I look up my agent's name, I find all sorts of interviews, message board posts, and other sorts of documentation that she is, in fact, a real person and an agent of merit. 
• Predators and Editors - If you do not know this site already, bookmark it. Not only do they list editors, but agents, publishers, and scam artists. 

Choose wisely...

Other things you should know...

• Agents do not charge the writer up front. Period. They get paid when you do. Remember, money flows to the author, never away. 
• Agents are not your keepers. If they are representing you, you need to do your best to represent them. You want people to think of you in the best possible way? So does your agent. If your agent acted like a maniac, you wouldn't get into any door. If you act like one, your agent will lose credibility, and you'll lose said agent really fast. Follow the golden rule:  Don't be an asshole. 
• Agents are not your friends. You may become friends, but the truth is, an agent doesn't need to placate your ego or smooth ruffled feathers by telling you what you want to hear. They, like all of us, are in the business of making money. And if your latest opus won't do that, they have the obligation to tell you point-blank. 
• Agents are the experts. You hired them. You're paying them 10-15% of your contract. SO LISTEN TO THEM. Look, you hire someone to rewire your house, are you going to stand over them and badger them about how poorly they're doing their job? No. So, once you've got your agent, let them do their job. Listen to their expert advice. And, again, don't be an asshole. 

So how do I find an agent?

I know several ways, and they all boil down to the same technique: Query, wait, lather-rinse-repeat. Ah, but how do you find the right agent? Well, that's a bit more complicated, though less of a mystery. 

• Search - Look at your favorite authors. Check them out on the web. Look for other authors who write similar things to what you write. Chances are, those are the ones you're looking for. 
• More Searching - Go to writer's market or (again) Predators and Editors and look up the agents you're thinking of querying. 
• Networking - Y'know those things that I attend called "writer's conferences?"  Yeah... Agents go to those.  And they look for people to represent there. They're called "pitch sessions." And even if you don't land an agent there, you do have the best chance of getting to know one or two and picking their brains to see what they're looking for. 
• More Networking - My agent was introduced to me by a friend. No, I'm not going to namedrop, but he (an author of considerable respect) handed me her name and number and told me to give her a call and drop his name. That was the first and last time I've name-dropped to get ahead in the world, and it worked out. 

We approach the Agent cautiously...

But do I really need an agent?

Yes. And no. 

If you're looking for mainstream success with one of the major publishers, then yes. You absolutely need one.  If you're content to send your work to smaller publishers or to self-publish, then no, you don't. It depends on the kind of writer you want to be and what your goals are. My goals are to publish in the major markets and live next door to Stephen King and become recognized as the dark entity of evil that I like to pretend to be, but that my wife and kid refuse to acknowledge me to be.

The point is, it's up to you. Agent, no agent, it's your choice. I love mine, though. And that says a lot. 

What you can do with my advice. 

Until next time...

SAJ

Common Mistakes: The Ten Deadly Sins

Just because I'm a writer and have been published doesn't mean I don't make mistakes.  I do.  I make 'em all the time.  In fact, some of the worst mistakes I make in writing, I don't even see until someone smugly points them out to me.  Usually, that person is one of my current or former students, and more often than not they are pointing out a mistake for which I've beaten them about the head and shoulders.  So I'm not perfect.  In fact, if it weren't for beta readers and editors, a great many writers would never make it to print.  What I want to do, however, is point out a few of the most common mistakes with the hope that you will learn to avoid them.


See, I'm not saying "be like me" or "do as I say, not as I do."  What I'm saying is, I want you to be better than me.

Had - Had is bad.  I've typed that phrase over a thousand times.  Several professors questioned me on it.  But I stand by it. "Had," when used in anything other than the indication of former possession (he had a ball, but now he doesn't) or distant past is just plain wrong. Here's the thing... If you're talking about something that happened just moments ago, "had" doesn't work.  It's not the word you want.  "He had come into the room" vs. "He came into the room."  See the difference?  The first one was an example of something he did repeatedly over a long period of time.  The second one, he walked in just a moment ago.

Excessive Adverbs - We've all been told that adverbs are just a way of defining a verb.  He ran quickly or whispered softly or screamed loudly.  the problem with adverbs is that they're largely superfluous, and they are perhaps the most overused part of speech since the "had."  To wit:  How does someone run?  Quickly.  Do you know anyone who runs slowly?  Okay, yes, some people do, but the expectation in the written form is that, if a character runs, he's doing it quickly, thereby making the word "quickly" superfluous and redundant.  Of course there are exceptions, but they apply when something happens that is out of the norm.  For example, "He ran slowly.   In this case, slowly is not the expectation, so it's necessary.  You also run the risk of what we used to call "Tom Swifties," which is an adverb that so mimics the meaning of the verb it modifies as to render it superfluous, but comedically so. For example, she sang musically.  Well... Yeah.  Singing is, technically (in most cases) musical. If it's not, there's something wrong with your character's singing voice. "I don't know where we are," said Tom lostly.

Right or Left - Who cares?  Does it really matter whether a character's right or left hand is the one that got slapped?  Do we say that when we speak?  Do we say "I hurt my right hand?"  No, we don't.  Right or left, it doesn't matter.  What matters?  Hand.  I hurt my hand.  I got hit in the temple.  I put the keys in my hand.  He stepped on my foot.  See?  Right or left, who cares.  It's a superfluous piece of information that really does nothing more than muddy up your writing.  Unless there's a specific purpose for the mentioning of right or left, leave it out.

You - When you write, typically, you're writing in 3rd or 1st person.  And as such, the reader (or the audience) is stuck behind what we call "the fourth wall."  This is the invisible wall that is removed so we can get a glimpse into the lives of characters that sit in that three-camera set-up of sitcoms.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, go watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory.  See how we only see the apartment from one side?  Ever wonder what's on that 4th wall?  The audience, that's what.  So when you, the writer, use the word "you" (as I'm doing here frequently), it should only be done when directly addressing the reader.  In theater, this is called an "aside."  In literature, this is known as "annoying" and "distracting."

Starting - More often than not, I come across statements that say "he started to run..." or something of the like.  Perform an experiment with me.  Start to run. No really.  What you'll see is that there is actually a moment between not running and running, but "starting" to run is nothing but intention.  There's no movement there.  So if someone "started" to run, I'm left to wonder what stopped him.

Distancing and Filters - Look, I get it.  We all want the reader to know what our characters saw, felt, heard, etc.  It's called description.  But we also want the reader to become thoroughly absorbed in the story, right?  So writers tend to use filters.  "He saw," "She heard," "they knew..."  They're all sensory of one sort or another.  But here's the thing:  Every time you use one of these, you're reminding the reader that "hey... You're reading a story, and being told the story second hand."  There is a way to draw the reader in further, to deepen the POV:  Remove the filters.  Consider the difference:  "He heard birds sing" vs "birds sang."  In the first instance, we are told what he heard.  But in the second, we are there with him.  We hear it when he does.  We know what's going on.

Weak Words - I see words like "this," "these," and "those" all the time.  And guess what.  They're a cop-out.  Words like "this," "these," and "those" are lazy.  They're weak.  And worse, they make your prose read like stereo instructions. The three words listed have their proper places, but their place is not in your narration.  Ever.

Its vs It's - It's really quite simple.  "IT'S" is a contraction.  It means "it is."  "Its" is used in all other cases.  Period.  There's no debate here, no questions, no exceptions.  It's simply how it is.

Your vs You're - Again, easy.  "Your" means possession.  Something that belongs to you.  Your ball, your bat, your nervous breakdown.  "You're" is a contraction which means "you are."

There, They're, and Their - I see this one butchered all the time, and, frankly, it pisses me off.  Someone wasn't paying attention in junior high school.  So for those who still haven't grasped it, "there" is spacial.  "Here or there," "go over there," "what's that over there."  "Their" means "belonging to them."  "Their car."  "Their rugby team."  "Their funeral costs."  "They're" is a contraction which means "they are."  "They're going to murder me when they find out what I've done with their schnauzer, which a buried over there."

So there you have it.  Ten of the most common mistakes I come across in creative writing classes.  There are more.  Sooooo many more.  But these are the most common, outside of basic grammar and punctuation (which are for a whole 'nother blog).  Hope this helps someone.

Development

One of the most difficult things writers have to contend with is the subject of plot development.  I mean, sure, we all have a story or two to tell, but it's not the process of getting from point A to point B that's important.  We're trying to get our characters from point A to point Z, and our plot points are points B through Y.  We are trying to develop our characters and plots so they will be more interesting because, honestly, we want the reader to care about them.  Love 'em, hate 'em, feel something goddamn it.  The worst possible thing that a reader can do is not care whatsoever.  Without some kind of emotional involvement, the reader has no reason to turn the page.

Let's take a look at the great theatrical spectacle that was 1980's-era pro wrestling.  Yes, I'm going to reference pro wrestling.  You got a problem with that?

Pictured:  My "You got a problem with that" face.

The two most popular characters in pro wrestling in the 80's were Hulk Hogan and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper.  Hogan was a largely static character with over-the-top cartoonish proclamations to eat your vitamins, say your prayers, and exercise.  Piper was a kilt-wearing maniac with a fast mouth and a talent for causing trouble, and was one of the toughest sons-of-bitches on the planet.  His words, not mine.  For the record, here they are:

Guess which one was my hero...

Hogan was most often billed as unstoppable.  His routine went something like this:  Get to the ring, get beat down, "hulk up" (which involved shaking and quaking like he was trying to force a large piece of cheese out of his butt), then he'd point as his opponent and yell "YOU!"  Then came his own beat down.  Clothesline, big boot, leg drop, 1-2-3, and everyone celebrates.  It got old.  Really old, really fast.

Piper, on the other hand, was quite different.  You really weren't sure which "Roddy Piper" was coming to the ring.  The mouth?  The fighter?  The lunatic?  Piper kept the audience guessing.  Sure, his favorite finisher was the sleeper hold (which, for MMA fans, is a rear-naked choke), but he didn't always use it.  It was always a guess whether he'd finish his opponent off with that, stomp him into the matt, get himself purposefully disqualified, or any other of a thousand little things that my main man RRP thought of.  And before long a question arose.  Who was the biggest star?  It could be argued that people came to see Hogan win.  But I'm of the opinion that people were actually there to watch Piper lose. Piper did such a good job of making people hate him, he was actually stabbed by audience members.  Three times.  Think about that for a moment.  It's pro-freaking-wrestling for crying out loud!  And yet, RRP really got the people going.

Pictured:  Raleigh, North Carolina, pro wrestling crowd...

Then, an interesting thing happened.  Piper's character developed and Hogan's character didn't, and people started booing Hogan.  The great, the immortal Hulk Hogan, was getting boos from the crowd.  And who got cheered?  Rowdy Roddy Piper.  The difference?  Character development.  Plot development.  Let me explain.  Hogan's character never grew.  He was Superman without kryptonite: Boring.  But Piper took up causes.  His character developed from a crazy person to a person who let us see what was driving him crazy.  He became the original anti-hero (sorry, Stone Cold Steve Austin, but my man Piper beat you to it).  And in doing so, showed the importance of plot and character development.

As a kid, I watched so much pro wrestling that I wanted to be one of them.  But when I was growing up, it was the age of the "big men," and there was no place for a 5'6" guy in the world of pro wrestling.  So I kept watching.  One of my most beloved moments came when Roddy Piper came out before a crowd who screamed his name.  He took the microphone and said, obviously taken aback, "I'm not used to so many people cheering for me.  And I want to make it clear, I ain't running for president, and I'm still the same no-good sonovabitch I always been."  The crowd went insane with love.

So you see, Timmy...

At his core, Rowdy Roddy Piper was the same guy.  But his journey to get from point A to point Z had many twists and turns and made the audience care about him.  They cared enough to stab him.  They cared enough to scream when he came back.  They cared enough that they can't get enough of him.  And that's what you want for your characters.

Every character should be a different person at the end of the story.  Think about it.  You woke up this morning and had things happen.  At least, I hope you did.  And those events of the day made you react.  Even if it was a small thing, you've changed just a little today.  It's easier to see if you look at development over long periods of time.  Think about what you were like as a freshman in high school and try not to cringe.  Your characters need to have similar developments.  What affects your characters?  Pretty much everything. People they interact with, situations that call for decision making, death, birth, car trouble, rain... Everything.  The little changes are what make the character interesting.  The way he makes decisions, and what decisions he makes, bring the reader closer to him.

Pictured:  Stasis Chambers...

Stasis is boring.  There's no room for growth.  Your characters cannot stay in stasis if you expect for people to care about them.  Read any series of books and you'll watch the lead character grow through loss, love, gain, injury, personal epiphany, etc.  Your characters need to do the same.  If your lead character is exactly the same at the end of the novel as he was at the beginning, you're doing something wrong.

Just my $.02...

The Writing Process

Every time someone learns what I do, I get the question of "but how?" along with bewildered looks.  I also get the inevitable string of "I have a great idea…" or "I keep thinking I'm going to write a book someday…"  But the question of "how" is always the one that seems simple to answer, but really isn't.

The simple answer is "put ass in chair and fingers to keyboard and get to it."  But there's actually a lot more to the writing process than that.  So I thought I'd take this opportunity (it being my blog and all) to describe the process I go through to write a story (Book-length, novella, short… It doesn't matter.  The process is the same.) in hopes that maybe it'll help some aspiring writer, or that others might realize that their own process isn't that bizarre.  Keep in mind, this is just my process, and there is no "correct" way to do this.  This is what works for me.

Step One: The Idea - Ideas come from anywhere.  Things I see, things I hear, something I ate just before I went to bed, some random bit of disturbing flotsam that comes up in a conversation… There's no telling where they come from.  I seem to live in a different world than most people, as writers do.  Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to see the things we do and write what we do.  So, for example, while walking across campus, I see a large grouping of squirrels.  Fluffy-tailed rats on meth, that's what I call them.  And as I walk by, one lifts his fuzzy head and glares at me.  Big deal, right?  But… What if they all did it.  In unison.  And they they stared as I walked past?  How creepy would that be?  Why would they do that?  What could control a bunch of crack-addled rats with such a hive mind?  Holy shit, why are they staring at me?  What do they want?  

Pictured:  Pure Unadulterated EVIL

Once that sense of dread has taken a good firm root in my psyche and I obsess over it for a few days, I move on to step two.

Step Two:  Brainstorming - Also known as daydreaming or mucking about while you get your head around the story idea.  See, the fuzzy bastards that stood up and stared… why would they do that?  Well, now's the point where I come up with my story.  Having a group of squirrels stand up and stare at you is creepy, but there's not really a story there, is there?  Why they stared…Ah, now there's the story. It's usually during this point that I'll start researching squirrels, mind control, magic, demons, and any other thing that possibly jumps into my head when I think of squirrels.  It's also about this time that I'll start driving my friends insane with weird questions about "have you ever seen a squirrel?" and "don't they creep you out?" and "what if..?" and "would you rather fight one horse-sized squirrel or a hundred squirrel-sized horses?"  and other things that insure they'll become uncomfortable and leave me alone for a few weeks until this new obsession wears off.  It is also this stage that insures that, while I don't have many friends, the ones I do are incredibly resilient and often live in the same cockamamy fantasy world that I do.  Or at least they don't mind visiting from time to time.

Step Three:  The Draft - This is the point where I'll actually put butt to chair and fingers to keys and bask in the cold pale glow of my computer as I begin to type out my opus.  I will spend hours and many late nights working on this singular idea until I'm sick of it (more on that later), often neglecting my own sleep habits and health to do so.  One thing I never do is neglect my family.  My daughter comes first, always.  So she has this annoying habit of wanting to eat or something, so I first feed her.  Then I make sure her day is complete with everything she needs.  Homework?  Check.  Parental interaction?  Check.  Dinner?  Checkity-check.  Then she goes for her nightly shower, and that's when Dad can become the writer.  I set my goal (1000 words) and stick to it.  This is where the late nights and sleep deprivation begins.

Step Four:  The Loathing - There comes a point where all us writers look at what we're writing and think "this is the dumbest thing ever."  We'll want to throw it away, trash the file, and forget we ever had such a goof-ball idea as a bunch of mind-controlled crack-rats.  But, because I've already come so far, I push on to the end, which leads to the next type of loathing.  Type one is "Loathing of the Material" or "Matloathing," if you will.  Type two is "Self-Loathing," in which all writers think "the idea is great, but I'm not good enough to write it."  It is not uncommon for writers to be found under their respective desks with a plate of Oreos or/and a bottle of rum to comfort them at this stage.

Pictured:  Actual Thoughts

Step Five:  Determined Resignation - The cookies are gone, the rum is drunk, and there it sits… The cursor on the screen.  It blinks.  It mocks.  It taunts.  The writer's temper flairs as he climbs out from under his desk and say "GODDAMMIT, THIS IS MY STORY!"  In his mind, trumpets blare and lightning crashes as he plants his butt back in his chair and attacks his keyboard.  Every stroke is hit with such force that the keyboard might explode beneath its power.  Every word is carefully considered with determination.  Every negative thought is met with hatred and spite.  He may smile during this phase.  He may cackle maniacally.  He might even shout at the screen.  But he continues on, maimed but not crippled.  Hurt but not beaten.  He works with manic abandon until, at long last, he types the words "the end."

Step Six:  Masochism - Also known as "peer review."  There is no more humbling an act that that of throwing something you've written out into the wild to have others (whose opinions you trust and respect) rip it to shreds.  Your brilliant opus then turns into a page that drips with ink-blood and lays coughing on your desk.  Do you have the faith, the fortitude to try to save it, or do you just let it die and lament its passing?  This is also where Oreos and Rum come back into play.

Step Seven:  Rewrites - Of course you're going to try to save it.  Why wouldn't you?  So you repeat steps three-through-six.  Sometimes multiple times until you get to…

Step Eight:  Submission - Your opus is perfect, beautiful in every way, and now it's time to throw it out into the wild to let the world know how brilliant you are.  You choose your venues carefully (often with a dart and a page from "Writers Market") and begin to send.  Then you wait.  As you wait, doubt creeps into your head and prompts you for more Oreos and Rum.  What if no one likes it?  What if you really are just a hack?

Pictured:  Writer in her natural habitat

Step Nine:  Rejection - Any writer will tell you that rejection is part of our way of life.  It's true.  It's also why a very large percentage of us suffer from depression and deep psychological disorders.  And yet, we keep doing it.  We keep throwing ourselves out there screaming "love me!" at the top of our lungs, and a cold world whispers back "no."

Step Ten:  Acceptance - The step that makes all of the preceding nine worth every moment.  The moment when the magic envelope (or e-mail) arrives that says, yes, we are good enough.  We are loved.

YES!  LOVE ME!  LOVE MEEEEEEE!!!!!

And that's my process.  What's yours?

Like Father, Like Daughter...

In case you haven't heard, my youngest, Zoe, seems to have been bitten by the writing bug.  Not just that, but the evil temptress that is horror.  Yep, my little angel writes horror.  See the poem below.  Why am I bringing this up?  Because two weeks ago, Zoe entered her first creative writing contest.  The Kyle Public Library hosted their "Spooky Story" contest, which was open to middle-school and high-school kids.  Zoe entered her story, Perfect, which was about a demented doctor who kidnapped women and cut them to pieces in an attempt to make his "perfect" bride.  There were 140 entrants.

Zoe won.

She beat out 139 other kids from high-school on down to win bragging rights and a free Kindle.  Do I sound like I'm bragging?  Like maybe I'm a proud poppa?  Because I am.  Proud.  Proud. Proud.  I've also had a few relatives (grandmother, aunt) who have asked to read the winning story... Not sure I want to send it to them because I'm pretty sure it'll freak 'em out.  Seriously.  I read it.  This is twisted stuff, and I love it.

So anyway, here's me bragging.  Her name is Zoe Johnson.  Remember that name.  You'll hear it again.  And again.  And again.

Poetry by Zoe

Here's something interesting.  My youngest daughter writes.  No kidding, you say?  She writes well.  She writes horror-themed stuff.  Wonder where she gets it from...  So, I'd like to present to you a poem by my Zoe.  She makes me very proud.

Walking Among the Dead
by Zoe S. Johnson

Through the ruins of what used to be the city
the fallen men and women stumbled through their forgotten home
between the living and the dead
looking for warm muscle and flesh to rip away.

It doesn't hurt when you become a corpse like them.
You never feel pain, you never grow hungry,
and you just walk without a care in the world.
It was an undead Hell.

You still age and decompose.
You still rot away the shell of your old self.
Who you used to be doesn't matter anymore.
Your mind now belongs to them
and you can't turn back.

That's not the worst part.
Those who are alive have to deal with
the toughest challenge of their lives.
Some of the infected are recognizable.
But...
How could you kill someone you love the most?

Consequences: Super Powers and Magic

Enhanced strength, laser vision, electric blasts, magic...  In the realm of horror, fantasy, sci-fi, and any other speculative genre, we all create characters who are "special."  Whether their power is overt or subtle, natural or man-made, inherent or learned, it is important to remember that such abilities should not be a "catch-all."  The purpose of this entry is to address the use of super powers through either tech or magic, nature or nurture, and to show how to effectively use such abilities in your writing.

First, a super hero is only as interesting as his weaknesses. Wait, what?  Yes, you read that correctly. Think about it.  If Superman had no weaknesses, where would be the interest?  Where would be the drama?  If there's no chance he could lose, why should we care?  It becomes boring.  We know he's going to win because he always does.  The Big Blue Boyscout just zooms in and saves the day.

*Yawn*

But then we introduce Kryptonite.  Then we introduce limitations on his powers.  Then we introduce Doomsday, a bad guy who can physically tear Superman apart, and suddenly we have real drama.  There's the possibility that he could fail, and that's why we keep reading.  Think about every hero worth his tights and you'll realize that every one of them has a flaw, an chink in their armor.  So when we write them, we need to give them weaknesses, and exploit them, to let the reader latch hold.  Give them something to invest in emotionally, and then they're hooked.

Most people think of how awesome it would be to have super powers.  But we, as writers, need to look beyond the immediate gratification.  We need to climb deeper into our characters' lives to see what the real consequences of having such abilities would be.  For example:

• Super Strength - Implies super density, and therefore increased weight.  Would this person be able to ride in an airplane if he was dense and heavy enough to lift it?  Probably not.  Would he be able to take public transit?  How about sit in a chair?  Or lay in a bed?  Or have sex with someone?  Would a one-night tryst become a case of manslaughter?  Could he even live in a world designed for normal people?  
• Super Speed - Einstien, that lovable follically challenged genius, stated that the faster something moves, the faster time passes for it.  I'm paraphrasing, of course, but think of the consequences of super speed in those terms.  A run around the block, a year of your life goes away.  Even if you could manage to keep your clothes from bursting into flames every time you took a jog, could you keep your skin from tearing off from wind sheer?  And let's not get into the whole sex thing again.  Oy. 
• Flight - Okay, we've all wanted to fly at one time or another.  But think about what that means.  Assuming, for a moment, that you could actually breathe in high altitudes (there comes a point where you can't, by the way), what's to stop you from getting killed when you hit something like a bird?  Ever seen one go through a windshield?  Now picture it with your character's head.  Powerlines, airplanes, lightning...The skies are littered with potentially lethal obstacles.  And then there's the matter of navigation.  Unless your character is lame and follows the highways when he flies, how's he going to navigate?  
• Invulnerability - Everyone thinks they'd like to be invulnerable.  Bullet-proof, knife-proof, everything-else-proof.  The implication there is that, no matter what, your character suffers no damage and no pain.  If that's the case, if a speeding bullet cannot upset the nerve receptors in your skin, then what can?  Certainly not the touch of another human.  And therein lies the tragedy.  Invulnerability would make your character one of the loneliest creatures on the planet.  
• Immortality - Who really wants to live forever?  Not me.  Stand around and watch everyone you've ever cared for wither and die?  Watch cities crumble to ruin around you?  Realize that you're the last and only of your kind left?  That's a horror story.

The point here is that for every power you can name, there's a downside, and writers need to explore them to give that layer to your characters.  

"But wait," you say.  "Hold on just a minute.  What about magic?  My character can do anything through magic!  Magic has no rules!"  Not true.  No matter what version of "magic" your character uses, you're still trying to do one thing:  Keep your reader interested.  Again, if your character can do whatever he or she wants with the wave of a wand, what's to keep the reader interested?  It's the limitations that make the story interesting, and the consequences that make our limitations.  

Magic is, in simplistic terms, the manipulation of energy.  Energy, according to our follically challenged physicist up there, can neither be created, nor destroyed.  It can only change form.  So if your character is throwing energy around, where's it coming from?  A body can only create so much before it needs to be replenished.  Pulling energy out of surrounding things has its own consequences, and a body can only handle so much energy before it gets damaged.  That's why we can get electrocuted.  So what kinds of consequences are we talking about?  What kind of limitations? 

First, magic is not a catch-all.  If you're stuck (or your character is), you shouldn't get him out by giving a flippant wave of your hand and screaming "he does magic and it's better now!"  Magic should be specific, and it should cost.  In the Stanley Cooper Chronicles, my character, Maggie, uses magic in her daily life.  She throws around a serious amount of energy, and it costs her.  She draws the majority of her energy from within her own body, so she has to replenish her energies by eating.  Just like we do when we exercise.  Any character that tries to channel too much energy through their body gets burned.    Draw the energy from around your character, and there should be a reaction from the environment.  Does he draw it from the power lines?  Maybe the lights around him go dim because that means less energy getting to them.  Pulls it from the plants?  Maybe the plants turn brown and die because he's feeding off their life source.  What if he draws power from a higher being?  Do you think that higher being will give power out of the kindness of his heart?  Nope.  Chances are, he's going to want something in return.  And think about this:  Physiologically, energy passing through a body creates a sort of "high."  How addictive would it be?  How many times will the user want to keep using it?  How will it affect him physically?  Emotionally?  Spiritually?

In writing about magic, theres a blog entry by Mette Ivie Harrison in which several questions are asked about your book's system of magic.  I recommend reading the questions and putting some serious thought to them, as well as those listed above. 

The point of all of this is that having characters with special powers and abilities are fine, but you must make the powers finite.  You must give them limitations.  You must give them consequences.  Without them, there's no tension, no reason to turn the page.  And that's what you're really hoping for, isn't it?  That the reader will turn the page? 

WS

Building Effective Characters: Dialogue

Write dialogue realistically, not how people speak.

One of the biggest problems new writers have when building effective characters is in the area of dialogue.  It either sounds forced, or doesn't fit the character, or the reader has a hard time distinguishing one character from another, or it just doesn't sound... right.  How do we create dialogue that sounds like normal people talk, and that really puts the character in the "realistic" column?  

First off, we don't write the way people talk.  We write realistically in that we obey a few simple guidelines that people follow, but we don't write the way people actually speak.  When people speak, they fill those little empty spots with an endless barrage of grunts, "ums," "y'knows" and a thousand other little vocal tics.  We speak in accents, which, when written out, make the language seem foreign.  We, in short, massacre the language (whatever language it is...Don't think I'm speaking only about English here), and to write it out would not come across well.  So, to write good dialogue, we do not write how people speak.  We do, however, write realistically.  But just what does that mean?  

Well, for starters, we must draw upon all the work we did on the character biography to figure out how that person would speak, then we need to adhere to a few guidelines.  Keep in mind, these work for me and may not work for you.  Find your own way that works.  

• Colloquialisms - These are things that are said with geographic reference that most people outside a given area won't understand.  For example:  "That guy's drunker than Cooter Brown."  Now, unless you met the right Mister Brown, you wouldn't know just how drunk he was.  We can infer his state of inebriation to be quite advanced, but it's just not something that someone outside Mister Brown's area of influence would even think to say.  Similarly, "Possum on a gum bush!" is not something commonly heard outside of the deep south, or a Dukes of Hazard marathon.  These things give insight to the character.
• Regionalisms - Often thought of as the same as the colloquialism, but very different.  In the south, folks say "y'all."  Up north, folks say "yinz" or "youse guys."  Same sentiment, but made different by where the character grew up.  Regionalisms range from the simple to the bizarre.  In the south, any form of carbonated beverage is a "coke."  We will then narrow the field of choice by stating what kind of coke (often by saying "a coke-coke").  Up north, however, it's a "soda" or a "pop."  Down south, we say "garage."  Up north, the same structure is a "car hole."  Things get even more bizarre when dealing with other countries, some of which have entire sub-cultures that seem to be dedicated to confusing people.  Cockney, for example, is a version of English that is characterized by substituting that relate to another word that rhymes with the noun meant.  So instead of saying "my wife," the speaker substitutes "trouble and strife" for "wife," then shortens the whole thing to just "trouble," so instead the speaker says he's going to go "tell my trouble."  
• Dialect - When we write, it's easy to want to get carried away with certain dialects.  I'll take the easiest target, the deep south.  Theah, ah swe-ah folks trah to tawk in thu most genteel mannah, but they nevuh seem tu ghet it rhit.  (There, I swear, folks try to talk in the most genteel manner, but they never seem to get it right.)  You can see the problem.  So how can we throw dialogue in that has the same flavor?  By choosing the words that we affect, and letting the audience fill in the blanks.  In the above example, I might only use "swe-ah" instead of "swear" for the whole sentence, but it gets the point across that the speaker is using a dialect.  The same thing works with other dialects.  "Dere" instead of "there,""Noocyuler" instead of "nuclear," and even "wessles" instead of "vessels."  They are used sparingly, but effectively.  
• Contractions - Unless your character is an android (like Lt. Commander Data), he will, most likely, use contractions.  Why?  Because we all do, and we all are essentially lazy creatures.  We want to say what we want to say in the smallest time possible.  "You can not be serious" becomes "you can't be serious."  "Why did you say that?" becomes "Why'd you say that?" Chances are, your character will enjoy using contractions as much as you do, and you love them so much that you often don't even realize you're using them. 
• Education Level - There is a big difference between the way a college graduate speaks and the vocalizations of, say, a grade-school drop out.  Make sure your character's dialogue matches your character. 
• Experience Level - People with more experience in certain areas tend to use terms that are more "insider" words.  The term for this is "jargon," but most folks like to refer to it as "geek-speak" or "nerd-eese."  Everyone has something they're a nerd about.  You may know everything there is to know about fly-fishing, and I wouldn't know the first term to even make a decent example, so you'll just have to go with me on this one.  

The bottom line here is that every decision you made about your character determines how they speak, how they walk, how they interact with other characters.  Do they react with hostility when being scrutinized?  Is that right for the character?  Decisions should be based on the character's upbringing, his education, and even his social class.  

A few other things that beginning writers do in their dialogue that needs to be addressed:

• Contracted Sentences and Words - Which do you say in your daily life?  "Yes, I would like to go to lunch with you," or "Yeah, let's eat?"  Again, we are fairly lazy creatures who will break down our spoken sentences to bare minimum, given the chance.  Once something is said, or even inferred and understood, we pretty much take it as "known" and don't say it again. 
• Naming Protocols - We, by and large, don't call each other by name.  We don't.  Go listen to people talking, and count how many times you can figure out people's names from the conversation.  Chances are, unless that person's name is "man" or "dude," you're not going to get it.  If your characters are constantly calling each other by name, they should either do it for a purpose, or you're doing something wrong.  
• Overexplaining - When real people talk, they usually don't try to reiterate things that are, or should be, already known.  If we do in our every day life, we get people saying things like "I'm not stupid, you know," or "don't talk down to me" or "well duuuuuuh!"  It's a common trap to try to explain plot points through dialogue in an attempt to cleverly let the reader in on what's going on.  And it doesn't work.  Phrases such as "as you know" or "like I said" are dead give-aways that you're about to drop an information dump on your readers.  Worse, it doesn't sound the way a real person talks. 

Of course, everything above is opinion.  They are techniques that work for me and me alone.  But here's my suggestion:  Go out to a park, a mall, a restaurant, and eavesdrop.  I know, you're not supposed to because it isn't nice (and could make for some awkward moments if you're discovered), but listen to the conversations people have.  Then realize that, based only on what you've heard, a little five-minute snippet, those people have depth of character.  And that's what you're trying to achieve. 

WS

Building Effective Characters - Part I: The Bio

Harry Dresden, Jack Torrence, Arthur Dent, The Doctor, Norman Bates...They are all iconic and memorable characters that have stood, and will stand, the test of time.  Theirs are the eyes through which we see the story, the ears through which we hear, the hearts through which we feel.  They are our proxy, our relation.  They are us, or they are so completely unlike us that they are fascinating.  The story is king, it is true, but one thing that every story needs is a good, memorable character or three.  For the next few weeks, we'll be discussing characters and how you as a writer can make them more than just words on a page.  You can make them breathe, jump, bow, cry, laugh and scream.  You can make them, for lack of a better term, real.  So let's jump in and start by discussing what I mean when I say characters.

First, you have the different types of characters:  Primary, secondary, and tertiary.  Some might call them stars, co-stars, and supporting players.  Bit parts, day players, and even walk-ons exist in the writing world.  It's up to you, as the writer, to figure out where each character belongs, what his or her role is, and weave the fabric of the scene in such a way that it become unnoticeable for your reader.  Here, then, are the types of characters we'll be dealing with. 

• Primary  - This character is the star of the show, the "Dresden" in The Dresden Files, the "Stanley Cooper" in the Stanley Cooper Chronicles.  He is the person for whom the story happens.  To be clear, "primary" doesn't necessarily mean "only."  There is such a thing as an ensemble cast of several, all of whom are "primaries."  But for the purposes of this essay, let's concentrate on the model of one primary. 
• Secondary - This is the "supporting player," the friend, the sidekick, the person who has significance in the life of the primary.  That significance could be that they hate each other with a burning passion, or they could love each other.  They could be drinking buddies.  But we, as the readers, don't see a whole lot of that.  We see the slices of life that the primary allows us to see.  The secondary is not the main focus of the story, though he will be affected by the goings on.  
• Tertiary - These are the fellows that are window dressing, passers by on the street.  Which is not to say they are unimportant.  Their roles are as vital as anyone else's, but the focus isn't on them.  Their job is to continue to put the focus on the primary and, to a lesser extent, the secondaries.  While they may be played as one-dimensional, they should still be fully realized, at least in the author's mind.  

Now that we know with whom we are dealing, let's focus on our primary.  

When you think of people (not characters, mind you, people), you realize that you're dealing with the summation of all that person's experiences, neuroses, quirks, and warts and that big bundle of gobbeldy-gook is what we call a "person."  You, for example, are the summation of every experience you've ever had, good or bad.  Those experiences allow you to make choices, avoid high temperatures, choose the green jelly-beans over the black ones, and generally function in your life.  The same holds true for your character.  It is for this reason that I'm a big fan of creating a full background dossier for your character.  Don't worry, it's not something the whole world will see.  It's for your eyes only.  But it will help you figure out how your character will react in various situations.  And, let's face it, you're going to be putting them into some situations, otherwise you don't have a story, right?  

Biographical information is the ten-pound hammer in your tool box when it comes to characterization.  Think hard about your own life.  What made you into what you are?  What influenced how you react?  How you wear your hair?  What your favorite color is?  This is what we're talking about here.  What follows are a few things that you may want to consider when dealing with your character's biography:

• Home Town - determines accent, political affiliation, attitudes toward other people, climate, etc.  Believe it or not, your home town never leaves you.  
• Siblings? - There's a big difference in behavior between only children, middle children, oldest and youngest.  
• Parents - Mom and dad?  Mom and mom?  Dad and other dad?  Divorced?  Dead parent?  
• Religion - Do they have one?  What is it?  How devout are they?  
• Education Level - A college grad and a grade-school dropout are not going to speak or even think in the same way.  
• Traumatic Events - Think about it...Every traumatic event you've had (and, if you're reading this, you've lived through) has an effect on decisions you make now.  The same holds true for your character.  
• Physical Information - Height, weight, gender, hair color, eye color, skin tone...They all influence how your character is treated by the rest of your world, and therefore how your character will react.  
• Style - Does he have tattoos?  Piercings?  Is he a nerd or a hipster?  Does he have a handicap?  
• Socio-Economic Situation - Does he have a job?  If so, doing what?  If not, what does he do for money?  Is he upper class?  Lower class?  Does he rent or own?  Does he have a car?  Does he have to take the bus? 
• Quirks - Neuroses, phobias, fears, tics, you name it, these are things that make the character more human, more identifiable. 

There are hundreds of other little factors to consider, and the there is no way to create an exhaustive list.  Nor is there a need to.  As I said, the reader will, likely, not even see your huge dossier on your character, but they should be able to infer some of the information by the clues you give through the decisions your characters make.  "I don't like water," says the character.  Ah, says the reader.  I wonder what traumatic event caused that?  You don't have to answer, but it's enough to know there was such an event.  Everything about your character, from the cloth of his shirt to the type of music he likes, is a clue into his psyche, and a step toward making the character breathe and live for the reader.  Think about who your favorite characters are, and why they are your favorites.  And then see how you can make your own characters breathe and live. 

Next time:  DIALOGUE